Wiis all scream for ice cream

I enjoy my video games quite a bit, and will frequently scope out the newest opportunities for my beloved console at any conveniently located retail outlet. This time around, my mind was thoroughly blown. Those of us who enjoy video games in any capacity have enjoyed the gambit of opportunities they offer, from being able to do crazy shit that could never happen in real life (yet) like putting a bullet in a zombie's brain-hole, to the convenient reality of bowling with friends in the comfort of your own home. Well, the folks over at Cold Stone Creamery, who we've all come to know and love for artery-clogging goodness, have pushed the envelope on the latter style of gaming and now offer you, the casual masochistic gamer, the opportunity to avoid the whole going-out-to-eat-ice-cream thing by instead simulating it in the comfort of your own home. For the low price of $14.99 (or three ice creams, in Cold Stone currency), you too can be the proud owner of an advertisement.

There are stupid questions

Art courtesy Ramiro Davaro-Comas

I was meeting friends at a seedy bar none of us had ever been to before and, with the added wisdom of experience, none of us will ever return to, and was waiting about twenty minutes for a beer while listening to an inebriated older guy yell about kids these days. Said older guy quickly and unexpectedly changed the topic, turned to me, and asked a question that I feel compelled to share. "If you could have any super power in the world or sing," he asked, "what would you choose?" I wasn't really sure what he meant by this question, but after twelve minutes of over-explanation I felt I had a decent grasp on his question, and it brings up a wellspring of other questions. Chiefly, given the actual opportunity what kind of person would rather have the practical and boring ability to sing well than have the ability to fly, be invisible, or just plain awesome at kicking ass?

If all politics is local, politics is dead.

In my mind, the more colorful and vaguer a lawn sign, the more awesome it is. One of my favorite past-times is driving down side roads in towns whose politics I'm unfamiliar with and gaining a little misinsight into a town's political dynamic by reading short snippets of information. My favorite was driving through Northampton last summer and seeing signs that said "Vote Yes" and "Vote No". I didn't know what I should or should not be voting for, but I knew that I was supposed to feel some way about something because a small percentage of people decided to announce their political intentions for passers-by. Discounting polling days and locations that are more accessible to the general public and campaigns that attempt to engage new voters in serious and important conversations, isn't a handful of words that only a handful of people engaged in civics care about all you can hope for in a vibrant and functioning democracy?

Some Phrases are Doggone Rude

Most of us have heard our fair share of sayings in the English language. We know simple sayings like "go fly a kite" or "get lost" mean "go away", as opposed to literal suggestions (unless you are very good at flying kites or are Bear Grylls, in which case you are very likely receiving literal suggestions). However, I can't wrap my head around the insulting and baseless sayings that involve the modern canine. For example, it's somewhat slanderous to suggest that dogs would resort to cannibalism, since I haven't met anyone yet who has seen a "dog eat dog", and yet when the phrase gets bandied about everyone understands exactly what's being said. I guess dog is man's best friend, but when it comes to some reciprocity, man is dogged at best.

This week in TV land: Excess, now in 3D!

When most people hear about 3D TV, they think it's a giant joke. Despite that, there are going to be some people who decide that a 3D TV is right for them, particularly after the cost goes down. I can't argue, because if you like the thrill of golf on TV but wish you could see the club swing back at you in a confusing and disorienting distortion of reality, then by all means, this television is for you. Because it costs $150 for additional 3D glasses, your 60" TV will be enjoyed by a solid handful, and the only thing better than spending thousands of dollars on a stupid new technology is spending thousands of dollars on a stupid new technology that no one except you can enjoy. I will say that if you have a lot of money lying around, feel like you have too many friends,and would like to shut yourself away from reality to watch Avatar all day every day, then this TV is truly a gift from above.