We've all been there: Minding your own business, happily performing some errand or casually minding your own business in a public space when suddenly you're punched in the face with the unexpected pungency of moth balls. Every time this happens to me I'm shocked anew at how someone could possibly determine in their shopping that they should purchase mothballs; items that I challenge anyone to find at a grocery store anywhere higher than the bottom shelf. If you had to make the value judgment of keeping your precious fuzzy wool coat you take out at the first sign of chill in the air pristine in its ordinariness or letting the damned thing get devoured by larvae, what would you do? If you voted to throw chemical-ridden-dead-grandma-from-the-30s smell into your closet, you have the distinct fortune of meeting a lot of people who enjoy collecting ceramic lawn gnomes indoors and knitting sweaters for people that will never wear them because they smell like mothballs. You are able to have this great benefit because absolutely no one else will want to come near you, because besides instantly gaining the appeal of an anarchist spotted immediately after a month-long bender, you will also be showing the good sense to wear something coated in toxic chemical that you didn't really need to wear for another three months anyway.
